Active listening

Active listening enables us to suspend our own judgments and, in the short term, needs to really attend to what the other person is saying. In terms of difficult or challenging behaviour, active listening may enable you to defuse a situation by providing an opportunity for the person to voice their needs and to feel that they are being heard.

Active listening involves:

Attending is our starting point for active listening. It involves looking, acting and being attentive. This is achieved through our own body language and actions (words, tone of voice, posture and non-verbal gestures).

Following requires you to listen to the person without interrupting and distracting them. Use simple responses that encourage the client to tell their story, including nods, verbals such as ‘mmm...’, ‘okay’, ‘uh-huh’.

Reflecting literally means reflecting what you think the client is feeling. It shows that you are listening and gives the client the chance to verify or correct what you are thinking. For example, 'It sounds like you are angry....'

Paraphrasing is similar to reflecting, however when you paraphrase you are verifying the words you have heard. You put what the other person has said into different words to confirm and/or clarify meaning. For example, ‘So, you are saying that ...’

Focussing is used to help both you and the client deal with the matter at hand. Often people are ill, angry or distressed and may complicate issues by bringing in unrelated incidents to the conversation. By focussing, you ask the person to focus on their main concern. For example, ‘Of the things you have mentioned, what is concerning you most right now?’

Summarising is used to summarise the most significant part of the conversation by relaying it back to the client. This assures both of you that you genuinely understand what is being said.